Good Evening Everyone...
I just happened to look up and noticed that it's almost 1 AM. Geesh the time flies. Whenever Mike works nights I tend to adapt to his hours and stay up most of the night working or writing. Tonight I decided to turn the television on and watch a little Court TV. I am just amazed at what people do to themselves. While watching COPS I took note of how many women were in domestic situations that involved abusive partners, neglected kids or kids that were witnessing the domestic situation that led to the police being called and a shocking number of women who are so caught up with drugs that my head started spinning.
Being the analyzer that I am I tried to notice as much detail about their lives and situations as possible and in every single case these women chose to live in sin with men that are abusive, drug abusers or violent. In one case, a woman was having a domestic dispute with her ex-husband (whom was more worried about the kids than anything) because his ex-wife met a guy on the Internet and decided that she was going to marry her Internet love, it was really no big deal that she had only met the man a week prior and she even went so far as to tell her kids that their father wasn't their daddy anymore...Holy Lord... this is crazy. How does she know this Internet guy isn't a pedophile preying on her to get at her kids?
Back to my analysis...
The common element in all of these situations is that these women are willing to sacrifice ANYTHING in the name of mislabeled love. Let me repeat M-I-S-L-A-B-L-E-D love. In all of these situations the required elements of true love were not present.
1. Respect
2. Trust
3. MUTUAL devotion
4. Self sacrifice
Oh, I've seen the women sacrifice everything from their children to their own self respect. When you have to sacrifice that, it isn't love.
I meet so many women through Just4Ladies every day that are in the same exact situation. They are willing to sacrifice everything for men that aren't willing to sacrifice anything. They'll stay with a man they believe they love so that they don't have to be alone. They're devoted to guys who will go through their relationship with a catchers mitt on both hands and are devoted to only their own agenda. And these gals believe that it's love. They give up their own self respect for this version of..."love".
Lately, I've been meeting a lot of women who are involved with married men. I truly feel for them because they really believe these men "love" them. In some cases, maybe they do but in the 9 years I've been in marriage ministry I have yet to see ONE success story that involves a situation like this. I'm not saying they don't happen, but when the praying wife asks God into the situation, it changes the composition of things. The problem is...the OW (other women) want prayers for the relationship too! I'm not God; but I don't believe He blesses a request that involves the destruction of family, the violation of the marriage vows, hurt and devastation and a relationship built on lust and deceit. Call me fanatical, but I'm only basing it on the relationships I've seen with my own eyes. I feel for the women involved in these situations because they really believe that these guys love them and when they don't honor their promise to leave their wives and start a new life with them, they hurt pretty bad too. A broken heart is a broken heart...they all hurt the same. It's what you do with the pieces of the broken heart that will determine the outcome of its healing and restoration.
Lemme get back to my point...
Ladies, you gotta love yourselves more than any man. Even if it means being alone while the perfect, God chosen partner arrives in your life. A short wait is better than the time it takes to heal a broken heart ANY DAY! And when you choose men that don't contribute the necessary components of love to the relationship, it's headed for heartbreak. How many of you have lived through this or are living through this? Put God front and center, in doing so, you'll find that you are worth more than a relationship that you carry alone.
I can tell you from experience, when the wait is over and He sends "the one" it is unlike ANYTHING you've ever experienced before! My husband and I have been together seven and a half years and I am still as madly in love with him today as I was in the beginning. I am still amazed that someone as wonderful as him hose someone like me and the best part about it is, he feels the same way about me!
As I close this, I wonder what some of you might be thinking about this topic...care to share your thoughts? Together, maybe we can help one woman find her way into the arms of that perfect man that will love and cherish her the way she deserves to be loved and cherished...maybe that woman is you... let's talk!
Love you all! - Shell
Monday, June 18, 2007
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3 comments:
After reading your comment about relationship...i felt so relieved that someone else truly does love the Lord so much to know that putting Him first is the Only Way to truly know what it means to love yourself and then recieve the love that we deserve as God's children! I do share your heart's concerns with what is going on in the world and how women have sunken into a world filled with so many flase identity in their lifestyle or who their mate is. I do believe that putting God in our most earnest heart desires will ultimately bring us into such a confident position that we will know that no man or lifestyle can ever fulfill us. I also believe you're very right if there are women who want to pray that God separate a marriage to bring their own adulterous relationship together is wrong because it will violate Who God is...Faithful! I truly believe as a women our number 1 man should be Christ and He will fulfill us in all areas of our life as we live obediently and seeking Him first. Thanks for letting me share my heartfelt comments to this very important issue.
Hi, my marriage is wonderful also! The way you described how you both feel for each other is just how I would describe our marriage. I have emailed you a marriage article - not sure if it is relevant for those who don't have one to work on, but even if it just blesses you, that's great! Many amazing blessings to you,
Chrissy
I have never been married but my last relationship that just recently ended lasted about 3 years. I'm still in heartbreak. It feels as though I was blindsided. I wasn't aware he didn't love me anymore but I'm glad when he realized he was good enough of a man to not lead me along. We are now friends. It is a little awkward because my feeling for him are still present and strong. He is such a good person, he's never been abusive or demanding, he loves God. We used to attend each other's church's for support. It's hard to get over somebody that is such an important part of your life... especially when he hasn't done anything wrong. I'm not really sure how to go about doing this. He was my best friend before the relationship started so naturally the whole way through and now after he's been nothing but brilliant.
How do I get over someone I can see little fault in? He's not forcing me to choose or give up anything meaningful in my life... I've contemplated the idea of just waiting for him, but I still want my heart to stop aching...
Please help.
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